The frequency and amount of break-ups and divorces on the grounds of cheating has been continuing to grow at a staggering rate. If marriages were really made in heaven, then why is this happening on earth? While the answers are varied, the fact that it is very much happening is a known and established one. And with the changing life style and culture, this can happen to you, too. Trust me; no woman is safe from her husband or boyfriend cheating on her even if they’ve been married for over 20 years. While the reasons could be one or more, what’s important here is to know how to keep him in your charm so that he doesn’t cheat you. You also need to understand how most men are wired psychologically. I will try my best to help you understand how you can really hold on to your guy from what I’ve learnt through my in-depth study of them.
First of all, you need to change your perception of them and separate the facts from the fiction. To do this, you need to understand that relationship is a give and take, just like in business. If you’re creating too many expectations from your man than what is fair, you’re heading for disaster. You want your man to spend more time with you, understand you, love you, adore you, protect you, care for you, give you more attention, woo you, provide you with all the worldly pleasures, and the list goes on indefinitely. But have you done everything he expects from you? Remember, expectations only disappoint us. Your goal is to maintain the right balance by understanding your limitations.
Learn how to communicate with men. This may sound silly, but most women don’t know half of this, forget understanding what it is. If there’s something disturbing that you need to talk about, don’t barge into him like a tornado and blurt out like an express train. Ideally, you should come and sit near him and after a while, begin the conversation with a non defensive question. Most of the time he will never answer immediately, but gather his thoughts and reply after some time. This is the time you need to be the most patient. To communicate well, you also need to learn how to listen patiently. Most women have the habit of interrupting or commenting when someone else is speaking. While women often talk together to each other, have different conversations going at one time, go on interrupting each other, and still somehow manage to keep track, men are different – they are used to focus only on one thing at a time. So when your man is speaking, let him finish completely and acknowledge it even if you don’t agree to it.
Next, stop assuming with men. Men always have their brains pre-occupied with something (and yes, nothing is something). So if you want to convey something, you have to spell it out to him and not expect him to assume that he should figure out things himself. If you want to get something done, a good tip is to appreciate the littlest task that he has done, even if it is just picking up his empty plate and putting it in the basin.
The most important aspect of being a woman is feminine grace. Use this weapon to the best of your ability and you’ll have your man drooling after you! I’m not saying that you flaunt your sexuality, but rather, just be comfortable with it. Allow it to flow with grace and style. You don’t have to wear mini skirts to exude your feminine aura, even jeans and t shirts can make you look beautiful by just wearing nail polish (especially toenails). Men are the most comfortable with women who are comfortable with themselves.
It is assumed that men only think of sex all the time. While this may be true to some extent, the fact is, they can’t help it – that’s how their brains are wired. Besides, sex is the only way they can almost express their emotions. Have you seen a man cry often? It’s easy for women to cry out their problems in front of a friend, but where do men go? They don’t have permission to cry unless it is a huge crisis. They have always been taught “don’t cry like a sissy”, “grow up like a true man”, “be strong, keep pushing”, “just cheer up, be tough”, etc. So they’ve never learnt to express their emotions, nor do they have access to them. It may surprise you that while fantasize a lot with being with different beautiful women, they actually prefer monogamy! As long as they’re satisfied, they will keep their fantasies inside. Their greatest fear is being caught in an affair and they can’t stand the shame that follows it.
And while we’re on the subject of sex, you should know that most divorced men say that “their wives were no longer interested in sex” and the runner up is “they felt the love has somehow vanished”. The tip here is – be enthusiastic about sex. Men want to make you feel happy, but they lose interest if they sense that you’re not interested. And when you say that you love him, he will beam with joy.
When you complain and nag a lot, men tend to create defensive walls which becomes very difficult to break through. If you know that complaining and nagging is not helping you, might as well stop it altogether. Men simply hate it when you try to change them deliberately, so keep away from such tendencies. If you try to stop him from going out on his regular “boys only drinking nights”, watching his favorite sport on TV, hanging out with friends, etc; he will not like it as these are his ways to unwind. Similarly, being overtly jealous or keeping tabs on his whereabouts is not going to help at all. Let him enjoy other female company (with limitations, of course) and attract him to you instead of crowding him.