If you’ve just found out that your boyfriend slept with his ex-wife, you’re probably wondering whether you should leave him or not. And, believe me, nobody would blame you if you did leave him for what he did to you. But, if you are determined to get him back, you may be saying to yourself several times a day, “My boyfriend slept with his ex-wife but I want him back.” Every relationship is different, and so is every heartache. But there are some things you can do to win back his love.
Be Nice, Don’t Nag
This might be obvious to you, but some people think nagging is the best way to get what they want. It’s not! If you are a nagger – someone who constantly complains or acts unpleasantly in order to get one’s way – you are just reminding your boyfriend of things he wants to get away from. If you make things uncomfortable every time you two get together through your actions, he’ll only want to see you less and less. The last thing you want to do is drive him farther away. Be as pleasant as you can whenever he is around.
If you are wondering whether you can win your boyfriend back by pretending to act certain way or be a person you are not, then you should be asking yourself whether it makes sense to get back together at all. You might be better off finding someone who doesn’t make feel like you need to pretend to be someone you are not.
If you can manage to remain pleasant, then whatever problems you had before the breakup probably will not seem nearly as important now. You might even find yourself wondering why you weren’t more pleasant to be around over the past few months.
Of course, you cannot change the past. So, keep that in mind when you face the issue of the fact that he slept with his ex-wife. Let him know that, while he was clearly the one to blame for what he did, you may have been a part of the equation, too. Let him know that you will never take him for granted. He probably took you for granted too, but do not try to force him to admit that at this point.
Some other things you might be thinking of trying to win him back could either be disastrous or could work in your favor include:
Can I win him back if he is regularly sleeping with his ex-wife?
This is probably the hardest situation to overcome. Not only is it difficult to be alone with him if he has been with his ex-wife recently, a little part of him is always going to be focused on her until he is completely over her. In this situation, his past (her) has just become part of his present again – and you have become just slightly less of a priority. Being nice right now is crucial. You have to make him see how wonderful you are and how much he’s missing by not giving you his full attention.
Can I win him back by trickery?
No matter what kind of deception you’re thinking of, even if it doesn’t seem harmful – forget it now. Even the most innocent-seeming lie or exaggeration could backfire on you at a later time. What would be the point of figuring out how to get him back only to lose him a little while later because he finds out about your dishonesty?
Can I win my boyfriend’s love back by making him jealous?
Sure, it is possible, but this tactic, too, could backfire and make him think you have moved on. If you really feel the need to date other men, then do so while keeping in mind the risks inherent in this approach.
If you are seriously considering going out with someone just to make your cheating boyfriend jealous, keep in mind that doing so is not really fair to your new date, or to you. Games like this usually do not work. Be honest with yourself and others and you stand a better chance of winning back his love.
These are just the beginning steps in winning your boyfriend’s love back and getting him to stop cheating on you with his ex wife. These are merely the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly, these aren’t my original ideas. I learned some invaluable insights from some of the top relationship experts around.