You may still be in love with your ex, even though he or she may not feel the same way. In fact, you may still be so in love with your ex that you say to yourself, “If we got back together and stayed that way for the rest of our lives, I would die happy: I still love you.” That is how you know you are really still in love with him or her.
Of course, the situation you find yourself in is tough one. First, you do not really know for a fact that your ex is not still in love with you. Maybe your ex claims not to love you anymore, but in reality he or she still does. Maybe they still hold deep feelings for you. After all, it is not uncommon that after a breakup both members of the couple still love each other a lot. In that case, the breakup is usually due to other reasons.
If you can truly say to yourself that you are still in love with your ex, did you know that there is a very good possibility that they still love you, too? Of course, just knowing that does not necessarily mean that the two of you should get back together. After all, you did have your reasons for your split up. Even if your ex dumped you (and not the other way around), it is important that you think very hard about everything. If you really look at the situation honestly, it is highly likely that you could come up with two or three good reasons why it is better that the two of you stay apart for good.
Or, in your case, the breakup may also have been more or less something you both decided to do. It is even more essential in this situation that you think deeply about why you ever agreed to the breakup. It stands to reason that the mutual decision to break up was a mistake, right? But, if you really take an honest look at the reasons you both had for putting a stop to the relationship, you could well come to the conclusion that it is better to not try to revive your now-ended relationship.
On the other hand, maybe you do want to make a go of it again with your ex. Just the thought of his or her smiling face might fill you with hope that the two of you could work things out. Just do not fool yourself into thinking that getting back together will be easy. The causes of your breakup are still there, after all. What makes you think that things will automatically improve just because you got back together? Sure, it might go well for a few days or weeks because you are on a high, but what steps will you take to ensure that the reunion will last? If you are like most other couples who give it another try, the honeymoon period after your reunion will not go on forever. And, then what choices do you have?
If you believe that you want to be with your ex for the rest of your life and you think, “I would die happy if we spent the rest of our lives together,” you have some serious homework to do. What are you going to do to overcome the issues that forced you to split up in the first place? One good option is to seek couples professional counseling. Regardless of what you decide to do, the bottom line is that you will need to educate yourself about what works in making relationships last.