Nothing’s a harder obstacle to overcome than cheating on your girlfriend. If your girlfriend dumped you because she caught you cheating, you’ll need to learn special methods for getting back together. Even more important, you’ll need to know which techniques for repairing the relationship will help earn her trust. If you’ve cheated on your girlfriend and want her back, the following guide will help you.
The biggest reason a relationship fails is due to cheating. Infidelity has broken up more long-term couples than anything else. Worse, it’s the hardest obstacle to overcome with while trying to get back together with your ex girlfriend. Normal techniques for fixing a break up will fall woefully short if you’ve cheated on your ex, which is why you’ll need to work around this fact. Below I’ll teach you what needs a girl has after you’ve been unfaithful to her, and how to meet those needs. You’ll learn how to climb over the obstacles faced after she’s caught you with another girl, and how to get your girlfriend to trust you again after you’ve cheated.
Whether your ex wants you back and is wary of rebuilding your relationship or she isn’t even talking to you right now, there are methods to minimize the damage caused by you cheating on your girlfriend… and to bring her back around again.
Step 1 – Let Her Be Angry
The worst fight you ever have will take place right after your girlfriend finds out you’ve cheated on her. There will be cursing, yelling, screaming, and maybe even a physical assault or two. When your girlfriend learns you’ve screwed around on her, she’s going to want to rage against the world… and you need to let her. Now’s not the time to be talking her off a ledge or telling her “baby it’s alright”. Your girl is entitled to be angry, and she knows it. Anger is actually the sign of a health relationship, because the more she rages the more she really does care about you. By allowing her to go bananas right now, you’re giving her an outlet to drain out much of the anger following her discovery that you’ve been unfaithful.
Step 2 – Make a Genuine Apology
There’s no real secret formula when it comes to apologizing to your girlfriend for cheating on her. You need to do it when things calm down a bit, after she’s screamed herself out. Let your girl know you’re extremely sorry for what happened, and that you know it was wrong. You can’t make any excuses here – you need to accept full responsibility for the affair. Don’t blame the other girl, don’t blame your girlfriend… blame no one else but yourself. If your ex thinks you’re not taking full-blown responsibility for cheating than she’ll never totally be finished with the anger phase. You need to apologize and take it like a man.
Step 3 – Walk Away From The Situation
Your girlfriend has probably broken up with you by now, and you cannot fight her on that decision. That very logical choice is hers to make alone, and trying to talk her out of it will only make her angry. Accept the fact that she broke up with you and actually agree with it. As you walk away, apologize one last time and tell her that you don’t blame her one bit. Then leave. Your ex needs to be alone from this point on, so the rest of her anger can fade away – and that won’t happen if you’re sticking around trying to beg for forgiveness.
Step 4 – Leave Your Ex Girlfriend Alone
This part of the reconciliation process is where most guys fail. Leaving your ex alone means that you can’t call her, email her, text her, or write “Hello” on your exgirlfriend’s Facebook wall. Any contact you make with her right now is a really bad idea because your ex wants to see you feeling the same pain she is. In fact, she’d love to know that you’re suffering. Calling to tell her you “feel terrible” is not suffering. But if you’re not around at all? She has to wonder if you’re at home feeling guilt, pain, despair, and the hopelessness she’s feeling right about now also. Disappearing from your girlfriend’s life right now is going to prevent a lot of bad things that she might do if she knew you were still around watching her. Revenge behavior is most common when someone knows you’re still there, trying to get her back. So don’t be. Let your ex girlfriend deal with the break up all by herself, causing her thoughts to change from angry at you for cheating to actually missing you and wondering if you’re really going to walk away. Give your ex a lot of space, and she’ll want you back faster than if you smother her with attention.
Step 5 – Minimize The Damage After Cheating
When your ex is finished being angry, done crying, talked with all her friends, and has sat alone in her room for a while… that’s when she’s going to reestablish contact with you. This is also where you ex might begin asking you all about the cheating, in very vivid detail. She probably already knows who, but she’ll want to know why. Your ex might interrogate you, asking you where you met this girl, when you saw her, and how many times you were physically with her. Here’s where you need to downplay many of the details of your affair – both for your exgirlfriend’s benefit, and for the future of any relationship you might have. Don’t lie to her about the major details of what you did – you need to own up to that part – but you can certainly minimize the way your ex views the whole nasty situation by being vague, general, and by downplaying the number of times you actually met this girl. Remember the golden rule: the less information you give her, the less your ex will know. And believe me, even though she’s asking for details to rationalize the cheating in her own head right now? She ultimately doesn’t want a very strong imprint of the affair stuck in her head for the rest of your relationship.
Step 6 – Make One More Apology
This apology should come after the smoke’s cleared and the dust has settled, and the two of you have spent some good time apart. One last time, you should tell your ex that you’re very, very sorry. Let her know you’re extemely apologetic about what happened, and you recognize how wrong it was. Most of all, tell your exgirlfriend that you won’t ever cheat again. Think she’ll believe it right now? Probably not. But she definitely wants to hear it. Any girl who’s trying to rationalize giving you a second chance wants to hear those words come out of your mouth. Don’t just say them either… mean them. The more sincere and wholly apologetic you are – again, without making excuses – the better off you’ll be. Any girl who still has love for you will want to believe that your cheating was a one-shot deal. Eventually, given enough time, she can get over things and trust you again… if you know the right techniques for rebuilding that trust.